Book #196: Heart and Steel by Bill Cowher

Heart and Steel

Bill Cowher

 Released: June 1st, 2021

My 62nd book for 2026 was Bill Cowher’s Heart and Steel.  

Bill Cowher will always be "The coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers."  No disrespect to Chuck Noll, Mike Tomlin, or Mike McCarthy.  This man was a legend to my father growing up.  Someone tough, bold, disciplined, accountable.  My father spoke well of Cowher, and while I was young and immature rooting against my father's sports teams, I have developed an appreciation for those he rooted on.

This book dives into Bill Cowher's life.  We see his roots in a Pittsburgh suburb, his developing years playing football, into moving to North Carolina for college, coming home and joining the Cleveland Browns, following Marty Schottenheimer to Kansas City, becoming Head Coach of the Steelers, and later the loss of his wife, and post-coaching football analyst career.

I relate a lot to this book.  I grew up in Pennsylvania, and a lot of what Cowher describes I understand.  I know the layout of the state.  I know vacations in North Carolina growing up.  I see the appeal of New York City.  A lot of what he wrote made sense.  

I always remember Bill Cowher looking pissed off on the sidelines.  I remember the ways my father verbally reprimanded me, and I could definitely see my dad in Coach Cowher at times.  That's probably why I looked up to him to an extent despite rooting against the man.  

I saw a commercial back in the day where Cowher had his linemen pushing him on a Football sled.  He was barking out orders, and after challenging his men, they took him for a ride across the field.  I think it was for deodorant or something.  I cannot find this commercial anywhere.

Bill bounces around 4 different places, using geography as a theme: Pittsburgh, Raleigh, Cleveland, and finally New York City.  Pittsburgh will forever be his hometown roots.  He achieved his greatest success there, and made the greatest impact.  Raleigh was his second home.  It was where he went to school, met his first wife, lived for a time.  Cleveland is where he received his first opportunities, both as a player and a coach.  New York City is his current destination.  It's fascinating how he built his entire career on the East Coast (and primarily the Northeast).  He built himself up from the suburbs to the bright lights of the Big Apple.  He earned his way through hard work, determination, and a penchant for being a winner regardless of the scoreboard.

Cowher played with and against a lot of great legends in the football world.  Marty Schottenheimer, Bill Belichick, Bill Parcells, Joe Montana, Warren Moon, Tom Brady, Jimmy Johnson, Jim Harbaugh, Troy Polamalu, Hines Ward, Ben Rothelisberger, Tony Dungy, Peyton Manning, Jim Kelly, James Harrison, Dick Hoak, Brian Sipe, Bernie Kosar, Art Modell II, John Elway, Dan Marino, Ray Lewis, Clay Matthews, Ozzie Newsome, Ron Jaworski, Herm Edwards, Jerome Bettis, John Madden and many more.  It's amazing the connections he had.  It reminded me a lot of Vince Lombardi, Joe Paterno, and John Madden.

It was fascinating to read about his relationship with Marty Schottenheimer.  From Tony Dungy's book "Quiet Strength", Schottenheimer was a workaholic and was very demanding of his staff's time.  Something Dungy had issues with as he loved spending time with his family.  Cowher seems to owe Marty a great deal of gratitude.  While he did put in the long hours, he did not see to be affected as much by it, and even stuck with it when Marty went to Kansas City.

Speaking of Dick Hoak, he passed away while I read this book.  It's saddening to read about a person, and then see their passing in the news.  It's almost like the book playing out in real life.  By Cowher's account, he was a true Steelers legend, and would never be let go on his watch.  I included the Steelers acknowledgement of his passing below.

https://www.steelers.com/news/dick-hoak-5-time-champion-86

There were a few Steeler games that I remember that Cowher left out.  While he mentions the tie-game against Atlanta, I was hoping he would mention the play where Plaxico Burress was not down by contact and spiked the ball.  There was the Fog game disaster against Jacksonville.  I also hoped to read more about other classic games, but I suppose one cannot fit everything in.

Here is what I learned:

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• To my parents, Laird and Dorothy Cowher: Thank you for showing me the true values of life: work, appreciation, and love.

• To Kaye, Meagan, Lauren, and Lindsay: I'm fortunate that I experienced so much of this journey with all of you. You're the backbone of all I've done, and your collective support-and presence—allowed me to experience professional success and growth. I love you more than words can express.

• To Marty Schottenheimer and Dan Rooney, my mentors in football and life: Your principles gave me things to aspire to, and helped me become the man I am today.

• To my wife, Veronica: Thank you for your unwavering support, love, and inspiration. With you, I can always see what's important in life. I look forward to the next phase that we travel together.

• Chuck Noll retired as a coach in 1991.

• At 34, Bill Cowher was the youngest coach to interview with the Pittsburgh Steelers.

• He was hired in January 1992.

• Bill always had an emphasis on family.

• Art Rooney II’s grandfather was known as “The Chief”.

• Myron Cope called Steeler games on the radio.

• He led the Striker

• Steelers to the Super Bowl in his fourth season.

• Cowher grew up 15 minutes from Three Rivers Stadium.

• “I was constantly balancing who I was as an aspiring championship coach and who I was and wanted to be as an engaged husband and father.”

• He coached 261 Steeler games over 15 years.

• Cowher grew up in Crafton, PA.

• People in Pittsburgh treat games like full-time jobs.

• He grew up on Hawthorne Ave.

• He shared a room with his brothers Dale and Doug.

• He delivered the Pittsburgh Press on Sunday mornings.

• His father was Laird Cowher.

• Laird’s passion was baseball.

• His father cheered on Notre Dame.

• His father was a Sunday school teacher.

• Laird taught at the Hawthorne Avenue Presbyterian Church 4 shirts from his house.

• His father was an accountant by trade.

• His father taught him “Leave it the way you found it.”

• Bill struggled learning to throw a curve ball.

• To throw a curve ball, you need to snap your wrist.

• Bill’s best friend growing up was John Lynch (not the HOF football player/GM).

• Lothrop Street is known as Cardiac Hill.

• His mother was Dorothy Cowher.

• Everyone called her Dot or J.D.

• Bill attended numerous camps at West Virginia University in Morgantown.

• He struggled to gain weight growing up.

• Bill enjoys the taste and smell of burnt toast because of how frequently he ate it growing up due to a faulty toaster.

• He graduated Carlynton High School.

• He excelled at math.

• His football team only ever had 22-24 players.

• He became a team captain his sophomore year.

• “At its best, football is a unifier and a confidence builder for young boys.

• Bill dreamed of playing college football for Penn State.

• He was rejected by Penn State and then Indiana for being too thin and too slow to play there.

• He sat next to Larry Beightol on a flight from Maryland to Pittsburgh.

• Larry was the assistant coach for North Carolina State.

• “If you’re good enough to play at Maryland, then you’re good enough to play for us!”

• He only received 2 offers, from Williams & Mary and NC State.

• He felt fate took him off course to NC.

• “Everything was pointing to State. My parents wanted me to do it. My friends were not used to seeing kids from small-team, small-conference schools such as ours play in the Atlantic Coast Conference. They wanted me to go. And a glance at Coach Holtz's résumé seemed to be a push toward the South as well: Here was a man who'd said goodbye to William & Mary for an opportunity at NC State, and it worked out for him. The message seemed to be clear that the same would work out for me.  The decision was made. I planned to spend the next four years in Raleigh, North Carolina. This decision elevated my game and changed the course of my life.”

• The Steeler’s defense was known as the “Steel Curtain”.

• The won their first Super Bowl in 1975 against the Minnesota Vikings.

• He ate 4 meals in college, including a midnight snack of a triple burger from Wendy’s, continuing a trend from childhood.

• NC State played at Carter Stadium in Raleigh, NC.

• NC State’s marching band is known as the “Power Sound of the South”.

• In his freshmen year, he helped State beat Indiana 27-0, which helped him get over their rejection of him.

• His father had one rule for trips down to see him play: Don’t be late.

• Laird drove a Chevy Biscayne.

• Lou Holtz was hired by the New York Jets following the 1975-76 Super Bowl.

• Bo Rein took over as head coach.

• He was heavily influenced by Earth Wind and Fire’s album “That’s The Way of the World”.

• Bill’s 40 time was 4.9 seconds.

• He felt bitter disappointment losing to Penn State.

• “I learned a lot about playing college football in my four years at State. Before my last game, I learned that getting yourself ready to play is not all that's required of a leader. At times you've got to personalize a message, get the whole group to believe it, and push everyone toward an untapped level of excellence.”

• The Steelers were the first team to win 3 Super Bowls.

• “They were a team capable of delivering whatever the situation called for.”

• When NFL scouts would come in, Bill would sometimes slip a 2 or 5 pound weigh into his gym shorts to appear “heavier”.

• He went undrafted in the 1979 NFL Draft.

• “I waited 2 days for a call that never came.”

• He tried out for the Philadelphia Eagles and played in some preseason games before getting cut.

• He went back and got his vocational degree.

• He taught at Chapel Hill High School.

• He was hired as a graduate assistant at NC State.

• He returned home to Crafton in January 1980.

• Pittsburgh had a recent string of sport championship success.

• “My hometown really was the City of Champions, now in two sports. My father was overjoyed that his first-love team, the Pirates, won a dramatic World Series over the Baltimore Orioles. When the Steelers won their record fourth Super Bowl, a takedown of the Los Angeles Rams, it was hard to tell someone from Pittsburgh anything about winning.”

• He was signed by the Cleveland Browns as a free agent and made the 1980 team.

• Despite being lifelong Steeler fans, his family switched their allegiance to Cleveland to cheer on their son.

• Laird put a Browns bumper sticker and some diehard neighbors bent the car’s aerial into a P.

• Bill loved playing special teams.

• Doug Dieken was his roommate during road games.

• Bill enjoyed dancing to disco music.

• He loved the Doobie Brothers song “Minute By Minute”.

• He was obsessed with the soundtrack to Saturday Night Fever.

• Cowher was one of the Kardiac Kids.

• “The Twelve Days of Cleveland Browns Christmas” became a regional hit in the local area.

• The Cleveland Browns have never made the Super Bowl.

• His rookie salary in 1980 was $20,000.

• He played basketball and was a substitute teacher in the offseason.

• The 1982 season was hit hard by a 57-day players strike.

• The season was shortened from 16 games to 9.

• He got married to Kaye April 9th, 1983 in Bunn, NC.

• He considers 1983 to be his best year as a player.

• He was traded to the Philadelphia Eagles.

• “There’s no substitute for confidence in pro sports.”

• In 1984, he made $130,000 that season after signing  a multi-year contract with the Eagles.

• After getting injured in 1984, he accepted a position as special teams coach with the Browns under Marty Schottenheimer.

• Transitioning from a coach meant he had to change his relationship with some of his former teammates.

• “It was the first time I began to realize that The more responsibility you get, the lonelier you get.”

• As a coach he worked 80 hours a week.

• The 1985 Cleveland Browns were the first team without a winning record (8-8) to win a division.

• His daughter Meagan was born March 3rd, 1986.

• Browns Quarterback Bernie Kosar won a National Championship while playing at the University of Miami.

• In 1987, Bill was promoted to Secondary coach.

• “The difference between a pass breakup and a completed pass is sometimes one step.”

• His second daughter was born in November 1987.

• Marty was fired after the 1988 season.

• “I just want you to know that I'm no longer going to be the head coach of the Cleveland Browns. But you should know that Art Modell wants to talk with you. He's very interested in you staying on the coaching staff in some capacity."

• Art Model wanted Bill to stay and return as Special Teams coach.

• Bill politely declined and was let go.

• In January 1989, he turned down a six-figure offer to coach with Bill Parcells and the New York Giants to rejoin Marty in Kansas City.

• Marty surprised him with the Defensive Coordinator position in Kansas City.

• He met Bill Belichick, the Giant’s Defensive Coordinator at Giants Stadium in March 1989 to teach him how to coach secondary and learned how to coach linebackers.

• His daughter Lindsay was born December 20, 1990.

• Marty had Joe Collier sit in on his defensive meetings following a devastating loss to the Houston Oilers.

• Joe wrote Bill a note after that restored his confidence.

• Bill, you're a good football coach. I've watched you interact with players, I watched how you dealt with this last loss. I want you to understand that if you stay in this business, you're going to have days like that. The most important thing is that you learn from it and you don't let it happen again. Don't ever doubt yourself or your abilities. You know what you're doing, you have the pulse of your team, your players believe in you. You're a damn good football coach. - Joe

• He interviewed for the Cleveland Browns Head Coach position in 1990. But Bill Belichick got the job instead.

• He interviewed for the Pittsburgh Steelers in a way that he felt was very unlike other organizations.

• He was offered the job and accepted it in January 1992.

• Sophie Masloff was the Mayor of Pittsburgh when Cowher got hired.

• Cowher was extremely loyal to his players, but also recognized that he may need to make decisions the players would not agree with.

• He built his system on structure, discipline, and accountability.

• His first game as Head Coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers was in the Astrodome verses the Houston Oilers.

• Being the head coach of an NFL team combines the responsibilities of a CEO with the demands of a celebrity.  It’s all the work with none of the privacy.

• Fans might be surprised at just how systematic NFL games can be.

• Bill had stopped going to church for several years, but in his return to Pittsburgh, he and Kaye joined the Fox Chapel Presbyterian Church.

• He accepted Jesus Christ.

• 1993 was the first time the NFL had unrestricted free agency.

• He would help players understand the pains of their spouses when they felt their wives didn’t understand the pressure of being a player.

• “I would point out that many of those wives were working hard themselves at home, making important decisions with the kids as their husbands were at work. It wasn't that they didn't understand the demands of the job; most of the time they did. What they wanted was an acknowledgment of what they were doing, along with some contribution from their husbands at home.”

• The coach talks about not treating people equally and how it wa based on the individual.

• “I'll admit it: I didn't treat everybody equally. Sometimes I enforced the rules subjectively. I believed in dealing with situations based on each individual, what I referred to as "production and tolerance." As long as production was greater than tolerance, I would put up with certain things. (This is an ongoing debate among leaders, and I know some coaches feel differently than I do. But I tried to balance the needs of the team against the actions of an individual.)”

• Bill never asked his players to play hurt.

• Bill once went to Art Rooney to ask about why he didn’t get a player they hoped for.  Rooney put him in his place.

• “Bill, you’re a good football coach.  But let me tell you one thing: You don’t tell me how to spend my money.”

• The Cowhers bought a home on Bald Head Island in North Carolina after vacationing there one year.

• “I knew I wanted to be a champion. I thought about it all the time.  But when I came home, after a while, all the girls in that house cared about was being around their dad. My girls never lost sight that I was Dad, who happened to coach football. I needed to figure out the perfect balance of work and home. I needed the calmness and normalcy of home to balance the intensity of work.”

• In 1995, the NFL expanded from 28 teams to 30.

• Dom Capers became the first ever Head Coach of the Carolina Panthers.

• He needed to make the best of the 1995 season after just missing the Super Bowl the prior year.

• “Please be comfortable with knowing that I’m going to make you uncomfortable at some point.”

• “Respect may well be the strongest motivational tool for professional athletes.”

• During the season, Friday nights were the only time Bill and the family had Family Dinner Night akin to the Sunday Dinner in more traditional families.

• Rooney showed Cowher how differently he ran things to benefit common fans.

• "We do things differently here, so we don't forget that ultimately we're here to serve the average fan, not just the people who can afford luxury boxes."

• Bill once argued a call with a Polaroid over a bad 12-men on the field call.  He stuffed the picture in the pocket of the ref, and as a result, pockets were removed from ref shirts.

• “When a player continues to make the same mistake, two things are happening: He either doesn’t understand it, or he doesn’t care.  If he doesn’t understand it, then it’s his coaches fault.  If he doesn’t care, then we have to do something about him.”

• At 38, Bill was the youngest coach to ever lead his team to a Super Bowl.

• Rod Woodson became the first player to ever return in the same season in which he had reconstructive knee surgery.

• The onside kick works in less than 1-in-5 attempts.

• There is a post-Super Bowl party for both the winning and losing teams.

• Bill is a fan of Kool And The Gang.

• In 1996, the Steelers traded for Jerome Bettis from the Rams.

• Bettis was nicknamed “The Bus”.

• In 1996, the Rams relocated from Los Angeles to St Louis.

• Bill stated that Bettis was the most talented and team-oriented back he ever coached.

• During games, Bill let his coordinators call the plays.

• Cowher felt strongly about his 2997 squad.

• “That 1997 team might have been the best team we had in my fifteen seasons in Pittsburgh.”

• “The relationship between a quarterback and receivers is built in practice.”

• Thanksgiving 1998 was the first time he ever argued over a coin flip.

• He decided to call the offensive play for the 1998 season finale vs Jacksonville.

• It was one of the most difficult things he ever experienced.

• “Building and maintaining a championship culture is a process.

• You have to create the structure and put your own imprint on it.

• You have to staff it with people who share your vision and have the ability to follow through on their own. You have to be able to communicate with precision throughout the entire organization, both to the entire group as well as to specific individuals, and you have to proceed as a team toward a common purpose.”

• He had a falling out with personnel director Tom Donahoe.  

• He presented his case to Art Rooney and even offered his own resignation over it.

• Donahoe was let go.

• “Focus is a balm. It allows an individual to attain their goals, and it allows a team to sustain its level of play. Mental toughness, with focus, allows you to relentlessly pursue something—and sometimes you don't even realize you're doing it. It's just good habits.”

• Three Rivers Stadium had opened in 1970.

• The stadium was demolished in 2001.

• Troy Polamalu was characterized as “conservatively aggressive”.

• Before every game in 2005, Bill had 2 Hershey’s bars with almonds.

• The 2005 Steelers were the first 6th seed to advance and win the Super Bowl.

• Cincinnati Bengals receiver T.J. Houshmandzadeh once wiped his shoes with a Terrible Towel after defeating Pittsburgh.

• The two most frequent days that people die are at birth and after retirement.

• Coach Cowher retired January 5, 2007.

• Mike Tomlin replaced Cowher as the Head Coach of the Steelers.

• Cowher left Tomlin an Iron City beer in the fridge.

• Kaye had a small mole on her shoulder that tested positive for melanoma.

• He joined CBS in 2007 as a commentator on The NFL Today.

• James Brown had been an All-Ivy League Forward at Harvard.

• Bill and Kaye built their dream house in Raleigh.

• Kaye’s birthday is April 17, 1956.

• Kaye was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease.

• On his deathbed, laird preached Never Quit, Work Harder Than The Next Guy, and Never Be Intimidated.

• His father passed while he was on the 14th hole.

• He and his daughters watched Kaye die slowly day after day.

• Kaye passed away Friday July 23rd, 2010.

• He met musician Veronica Stigeler at the Viper room in Los Angeles.

• Veronica went by “V”.

• V lived in New York City and grew up in New Jersey.

• She is 15 years younger than Bill.

• Bill and the girls went on an African Safari.

• The girls had concerns that Bill moved on from their mother too soon.

• Bill played the Head Coach of the Gotham Rogues in The Dark Knight Rises.

• He later moved to the Upper East Side of NYC.

• He married V in NYC.

• His mother passed in April 2019.

• He entered the Pro Football Hall of Fame that same year.

• His colleagues called the surprise “Operation Gold Jacket”.

• "God's never said, 'Here's your life.  You get a contract.  It's loaded with everything you want.'  No, it doesn't work like that.  You can't take the years you think you're going to get and chart them out.  You take what you're given and try to fashion the best life you can out of it."

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Overall, very strong and moving story.  Bill Cowher is the epitome of hard work and success.  He's a lot more humble than the personality we have seen him portrayed as.  He is knowledgeable, family-oriented, goal-oriented, and the picture he paints here has the opportunity to inspire millions around the world.

Highly Recommendation.

On to Book #197: Hershey by 

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Need to catch up?  See previous blog post: Somewhere Between Screens.