Book #29: “If You Would Have Told Me…” by John Stamos

 

If You Would Have Told Me

John Stamos

 Released: October 24th, 2023

Book #29 complete for the year, “If You Would Have Told Me” by John Stamos.  I’m a diehard Full House fan.  I watched the show growing up, and was always enamored with Uncle Jesse’s sense of being cool, his look, style, and attitude.  Stamos was always a really cool person to me.  Very laid back, and just sort of did his thing.  A good friend gave me this book to read, and I jumped right on in.  I learned many amazing things about the actor and his life.  Very good read.  Here are some of the things I learned:

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“I love him, and I respect him, and I need him.  We all do.”  - Jamie Lee Curtis, from the foreword.

Hummingbirds are considered by many to be a lost relative coming back from beyond.

John’s dad had a passion for agriculture.

His dad passed away at age 65.

The Palm in LA is a surf and turf steakhouse, and a Los Angeles landmark.

Bob Saget was his best friend.

“Most kids get to a point of disillusionment with their fathers, but I never got there.  He was always bigger than life to me.”

His mother kept him anchored and straightened out most of his life.

In 2015, he was busted for a misdemeanor DUI.

“When we lose ourselves, it’s often about giving in to the perceptions of others.”

“Redemption is a funny thing. There are infinite ways to get lost and just as many roads to find a path home. We fall back on the wisdom of our earliest teachers and find our innocence in their eyes. We ask more of ourselves and actually live up to it.  We open our hearts one more time ready to be screwed over, but hoping for that unconditional acceptance. We quiet the active cynic in our minds and let the biggest dope we know, the dreamer within, start to give directions again. The message becomes clear: take it easy on yourself, have patience, forgive, be merciful ... have mercy.”

He received his first drum set in the 1970’s and drummed in band at school and at church.

He was obsessed with Tony Kemeny’s puppeteering.

He was a huge fan of Knott’s Berry Farm and would feed the ducks there growing up.

His taste for danger was born from the Wagon Camp Theater at a berry farm.

His dad owned a restaurant called The Yellow Basket.

At 14, he was the cook at the restaurant.  He loved the job and it was nice having enough money every week.

The greatest lesson his father imparted to him was a sincerity for treating everyone with equal respect.  His father treated the bus boy the same way he treated his best customer.

He used to keep his pockets full of pretzels.

His father enjoyed More brand cigarettes, and wore Aramis cologne which John would use from time to time for dates.

He developed an obsession with Thr Beach Boys after seeing Papa Do Run Run cover their songs.  He obtained an 8-Track of “Endless Summer” and became a new generation fan.

The Beach Boys were his very first concert.

“Everyone says you have to learn to love yourself from within, but sometimes it takes looking at yourself through someone else's eyes to start understanding your worth. We always pick the best looking, smartest, richest, most successful person in any room and feel like we're lacking, but if you look over your shoulder there might just be someone looking up to you. To a kid banging a couple of Zildjians together, I was the shit."

He played tri-toms in the marching band at John F. Kennedy High.

The Athletic Director of the high school, Doc Manos, snuck John on to the set of Grease in the summer of 1977.

“If you want to do something, just do it.  No obstacles.  No roadblocks.  Just work your as a off and do it.”

Stamos’ all-time favorite show is Happy Days.

He met and got Robin Williams’ autograph at a TV tapping for Happy Days.  Above his autograph, Williams wrote, “Dear money, send Mom.”

He prefers women to men bosses.

John’s first band was called Destiny.

He landed the role of Blackie Parrish in General Hospital

He worked his way up gaining popularity and fan mail as the show went on.

He once blacked out in a hotel room while waiting to hang out with Rebecca Romeijn

He played drums on General Hospital thanks to Sammy Davis Jr.  This not only gave him a special moment to share with a legend, but also opened new doors for his character on the show.

He was slammed against the wall by a CBS exec because he refused to sing “Jailhouse Rock”

Tony Danza once stole his girlfriend.

He was pulled on stage at Disney Land to play “Barbara Ann” on drums with The Beach Boys

“The things that separate us seem small compared to what should draw us together.”

Garry Marshall always wanted John to meet Julia Roberts.  He felt they were both good people with good backgrounds and should have had a friendship.  He made that happen on his deathbed in 2016.

Jeff Franklin ran Laverne & Shirley at the age of 23.

John was against the Full House pilot.  He believed it would crash and burn.

He was originally named Adam, but had the names changed to Jesse.  This was a nod to Elvis’ deceased twin brother, as he felt it matched the sitcom dying.

During audience tests, Stamos’ line “Your baby’s a pig.”  Drew the biggest laugh of the segment, and brought new confidence to his ability.

Full House premiered to lukewarm reviews.  There was a meeting where ABC debated cancelling it.  Jeff Franklin showed the execs how Full House is the first show on TV to raise a baby.  Parenting is the forefront of the show.

Tony Danza’s show “Who’s The Boss?” Is the lead-in show for summer reruns of Full House.  This launches Full House into a bonafide hit and makes Stamos a household name.  Life is ironic.

“It’s such a gift to be able to introduce people, especially young ones, to the music that has touched my heart.”

Several of The Beach Boys would practice Transcendental Meditation while out on tour.

John and his father would debate who the bigger icon was, Elvis or Sinatra.  After meeting him and seeing his show, Sinatra was a legend to him.

When given the chance to meet Sinatra and get a photo with him, John’s father turned it down.  Just happy to see his son and his hero in the same moment together.

He had a very close relationship with Don Rickles, who treated him like a son.

He convinced Rickles to go on the Howard Stern Show.  Don was very uneasy about it, but Stern showed great admiration for him, and made it a pleasant experience.

“From my heart, God has given this man a great deal of dignity, a great deal of love, and a style that God can never take from him. When he puts his arms around you, you know it's love. I love him and I love all of you who came here tonight to pay your respects to a gentleman that God will bless forever. Barbara and I have known John for a long time. We're married for forty-eight years. He always sits around with me, and we talk about girls, and marriage, and love. I try to be a friend, a second father to him. I tell him your time will come. Just be open and God will bless you as he's blessed my Barbara and me."  -Don Rickles on John Stamos, Stamos’ 50th Birthday Party

Don Rickles was on Jimmy Kimmel’s show with Stamos one time.  He made a joke about President Obama being a personal friend.  He quipped “He was over to the house yesterday, but the mop broke.”  Kimmel quietly told Stamos that he cut out the joke, deeming it too racially insensitive for today’s audience.  Stamos was disappointed that it was cut because it wasn’t meant to be insensitive to Obama, but rather mock racism at its core.

“Jimmy doesn't want Don to come off as insensitive or unaware that those types of jokes are problematic in today's climate. The thing is, Don can't come off as insensitive because he isn't. He's above all the correctness because he's always used humor to tease out the cruelest, darkest, most mean-spirited aspects of society and make people face their own bigotry and hatred. Don wasn't making fun of President Obama; he was making fun of the racist asshole who would put an African American in a subservient category. Don was mocking racism by personifying the most desperate aspects of it. Those who don't get it are likely the butt of the joke. Don lampoons life itself, but his legacy will be one of love.”

John, Bob Saget, and Dave Coulier bond over ill family members.  Bob and Dave each lose a sister.  John’s sister survives.

Bob Saget was an earlier adopter of technology.

When shooting Fuller House, one early critic compared it to necrophilia.

Bob Saget predicts a 3rd show based on Full House, called “Fullest House” where he plays an urn on the fireplace.

Paul McCartney had called The Beach Boys “God Only Knows” his all-time favorite song.

John marries Rebecca Romijn and they take their honeymoon in Greece.

He helps her transition from model, to big screen actress.

In 1995, John works on Broadway for the first time.  He loves it and it eliminates any fear he ever has in life.

Stamos travels to Paris with his mother to see the opening of the new Disney Land Paris.

While there, Stamos and his mother travel to Berlin so he can research for his new role.  The mothers asks to go to the Kit Kat Club.  The driver of the taxi advises against it, but Mother Stamos insists.  When they arrive, they are turned away at the door for being improperly dressed (suit for John, dress for Mother Stamos).  They soon find out, the Kit Kat Club is a Bondage club.

He lands a role as gay Nazi who Emcees the production “Cabaret”

He ends up being so good at the role, they demand eight performances a week.

He develops alcoholism by drinking an entire bottle of wine before each show.

Stamos replaces Antonio Banderas in Nine.  The role consumes him and he begins losing control of his life.  The show ends up tanking, and most of it is chalked up to Stamos.  He leaves feeling defeated.

John and Rebecca start having problems.  She is enamored with her new friends and new-found fame.  They see each other less and less and eventually separate in secrecy on March 17, 2003.

She makes it clear that there is to be no contact during their separation.  John is left heartbroken.

After shooting some smaller movies, Rebecca calls him and wants him back.  They spend time together, but grow apart. 

One day he calls about a role he got and is excited about.  She sounds apathetic at best.  So he tells her he isn’t coming home, and she says ok.

“No matter how much you love another person, don't forget to love yourself. No matter how much you want another person to succeed, don't sell yourself out. For women, it's about keeping your independence and empowerment in any relationship. For men, I don't know, compromise wherever you can but don't negotiate every aspect of life. Keep your balls.”

John gets through the divorce by living in a bachelor pad in Malibu for the summer.

He last a role on ER and rejuvenates the series.

He struggled with alcohol, which led to a horrific press conference in Australia where he was excessively hungover.

He felt Robin Williams, despite being warm and friendly, seemed introverted and alone.

Matt Stone and Trey Parker were not taken seriously in theater circles until “The Book of Mormon” came out.

John Stamos was the first celebrity teased on South Park, because he was the first celebrity Matt and Try met when they came to Los Angeles.

“I've avoided discussing religion and politics for the majority of my career. It's fine for fellow actors to do so, but I recognize that people dislike being force-fed our viewpoints.  Additionally, why risk alienating half of my fan base?  Although, sometimes even by performing a counterpoint to your beliefs, you end up taking a stand.”

As a kid, John and his father would meet family family for Chinese food.  They would do silly things like read the fortune cookie and add “in bed” to the end. 

“We'd all be laughing, telling stories, and cracking open cookies to share our fortunes. Not sure who started it, but it became a tradition to read the fortune cookie then add "in bed." Like, "People rise to your expectations in bed." I don't need to hear my robust aunt read,

"Every exit is an entrance to new experiences, in bed."

His father moved Chinese night from Tuesday to Wednesday so he could see every episode of Full House as it aired.

New Year’s Eve 2000, John’s father has a heart attack in Las Vegas.  He goes into a coma and passes away six months later.

His father want a Greek Orthodox funeral and to be cremated.  John feels disconnection from the faith of his upbringing to meet his father’s wishes.

“One of the most valued traits I got from my father was the way he treated everyone equally. It didn't matter if someone was a dishwasher at one of his burger joints or the executive producer on one of my shows. Today at his service, Raul, the busboy from the Yellow Basket, is sitting next to a big-time Hollywood producer. Both weep just as hard.”

His father loved the Race Track.  His mother loved Las Vegas.  They were simple, saved Pennie’s, cut coupons, but enjoyed life where they could despite John’s fame.

John’s mother passes September 22, 2014.  

Her lucky numbers were 51 and 15.

John kisses her cheek 51 times as her body is taken away.

“Dear Son, Life is an occasion…Rise to it.  Don’t be sad because I died, be happy because I lived.  I had a wonderful life.”

John meets Caitlin on an episode of SUV, Law and Order.  He instantly falls for her, though she is engaged and he has to wait 5 years to see her again.

She shows up at a Fuller House taping.

John goes through the process of fertility issues while trying to conceive with Caitlin.  He describes a funny turn at a sperm clinic.

He is surprised with the news of fatherhood in Las Vegas before a show, and the gender revealed in the parking lot of LAX.

They get engaged October 22nd, 2017 in Disney Land.  John has a surprise at the Animation Building with a montage of romantic things from their story.

They get married February 3rd, 2018 at the Little Brown Church in Studio City.

John’s Patenting Advice: Stop worrying about how you should feel and just give in to how you do feel.

Bob Saget was his best friend, and even more so his brother.  Their 35-year friendship spanned many crazy moments, stories, and memories.  They truly loved one another, and achieved it all together.

“In Bob's last Instagram post he looks too alive to die a few hours later. We all want to "die alive." No one wants to go down in some Lay-Z-Boy recliner filled with regret and remorse. No one dreams of fading into retirement discarded and forgotten. Bob felt young, energized, grateful, and appreciated. Hundreds of people came night after night to hear his storytelling. He leaves the world bright and fierce. The applause doesn't even have time to die down.  He was truly at the top of his game.”

“I think back to that last dinner at Nobu when we were all together: Bob, Kelly, Caitlin, me. I try to remember what we talked about. When you lose someone special, that final time together becomes mythic and magical. Every detail is a holy relic. You try to remember that feeling of closeness. What did we eat? Did we joke about cock and cake? Did we stay a little longer for coffee and dessert? I hope so.”

“If you get a chance to sit for a spell with someone you love, don't get up too quickly, stay a while, linger, indulge, savor.  Order the cake.”

“The thrill of not knowing what lies ahead motivates us to take risks, try new things, and live in the present rather than Constantly worrying about tomorrow. We are challenged to be adaptable, resilient, resourceful.

life is full of unexpected moments of beauty and joy. Not knowing what the future holds opens us up to experiencing them fully.”

“There are so many films about time travel: Planet of the Apes, Back to the Future, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, Idiocracy. They offer an opportunity to reimagine history and fix all the flaws of the past. It's a great fantasy because we all want to shrug off the shame of our worst moments, rewrite the scenes of our greatest humiliations, and edit the story of our lives to include only the best and brightest moments. It's human nature. But almost every movie where the protagonist seeks to alter the future defaults to an inevitable out-come: the way things happen is the way things are meant to be.”

“What breaks us helps rebuild us. What humiliates us can change us. Fame and fortune is as fun as it is eventually empty; the simple stuff is the best stuff. Our roots define who we will be for life, but we also break free from the family tree to become individuals. Our darkest days inform us and become our most valued teachers. Our love requires a vulnerability that is as terrifying and humbling as it is sublime and sustaining.”

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Great read!  Highly recommended!

On to Book #30: Home Alone 2: Lost in New York