Book #154: Midnight Graffiti by Various

 

Midnight Graffiti

Various

 Released: January 1st, 1992

My 20th book for 2026 was a Variety Novel first published in the magazine Midnight Graffiti.

What a weird book.  I picked up this one first because this is the first time I have ever completed a Stephen King story.  Secondly, the cover looked pretty cool.  That's about all that was cool.

As I go along, I’ll review them story by story.

Rainy Season by Stephen King.

This was about a couple relocating to Willow, ME.  They are warned by the neighbors about Rainy Season, but ignore the warnings and decide to stick it out.  A storm of toad rains down before melting into a sort of ooze the couple must now face life or death against.  Thankfully, it only happens once every 7 years.

This was my first full exposure to Stephen King.  I have read about 200 pages of The Stand in the past, but never finished a King novel.  This 30-page short story might not be his best work, but it was a good introduction.  I plan to read Rose Madder here shortly.  This was the best story of the bunch.  It's not wonder the authors used this story to lead it off and sell the book.  The rest were a bit rough.

Say Hello, Mister Quigley by J. Michael Straczynski:

A woman returns to her family home and is haunted by a doll who seeks to protect her from a dark past.

I struggled to understand this one.  It's a standard horror story with the dummy-dolls, but it wasn't Goosebumps.

Sinus Fiction by Gil Lamont:

The only thing I remember is that the main character likes beer, sports, and chicks, and the story predicts COVID-19.

Emerald City Blues by Steven R. Boyett:

The characters from The Wizard of Oz appear in a short story that show what would happen if Oz were to be struck by a nuclear weapon.  

Cattletruck by Cliff Burns:

A tale about a person suffering burn injuries, and the aftermath of it.  Very short, and lost my attention.

Bad Guy Hats by David J. Schow:

Plays out like a Western.  With the descriptive violence, it definitely fits into the horror genre.  Weird and deadly sexual fetishes, and just random odd things.

"I Want To Get Married!" Says the World's Smallest Man by John Shirley:

Weird story about a short guy who wants to get married.

Spike Jones and Reverend Sister Claudine by Rex Miller:

I’m not entirely sure what was going on here.

Bob the Dinosaur goes to Disneyland by Joe Lansdale:

This dude bugs his parents into letting him go to Disneyland.  Finally one day, they agree to send him.  His life changes, his grade improve, and he looks forward to summer and his trip.  When he returns, he’s a stoned metalhead after discovering Disney characters are not real.

Salvation by Lawrence Person:

A Roman soldier feels moral guilt after nailing Jesus Christ to the cross.

Rant by Nancy A. Collins:

A Nazi Jesus aborts the anti-Christ in brutal fashion.

Blue on One End, Yellow on the Other by K.W. Jeter:

A man suffers cardiac arrest.

The Domino Man by Phil Tiso:

Something about someone being the Domino Man.

The New Order: 3 Moral Fictions by R.V. Branham:

Don't recall.

Murder Mysteries by Neil Gaiman:

Slightly better, decent story.

Heaven, Heaven Is a Place by R.V. Branham:

Started off interesting, but lost interest.

Where I Shall Dwell in the Next World by Harlan Ellison:

Lost me.

The River Styx Runs Upstream by Dan Simmons:

Something about resurrection.

Dark Embrace by James Van Hise:

Dark tale about vampires.

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This book was not the highlight of the year.  In fact, I'm a bit disappointed.  But you know, they cannot all be winners.  It was so difficult, that I actually Googled what I just read to understand it, and I found that other readers were just as lost and confused as well.  Turns out, most of these stories are so deep in obscurity, that they don't even have summaries for them online.  Crazy...

Here is what I learned:

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• Many of the stories collected in this book first appeared in Midnight Graffiti magazine, a publication dedicated to the idea that there is a Twilight Zone and we live in it.

• This book is about fear.

• Television has been teaching us to fear.

• “There is definitely life after oat bran.”

• The book is divided into an anthology of stories.

• Possibility is the seduction of the “what-if” story.

• John and Elise Graham live in Willow, Maine.

• They drive a Ford.

• Willow is a small town.

• Rainy season only comes in Willow every 7 years.

• “Even people who have heard of rains of frogs and toads and birds and such don't have a very clear idea of what happens in Willow every seven years on the 17th of June. If you are going to stay, I'd stay in the house. You'll most likely be all right in the house."

• The dog has gas.

• The couple are attacked by raining toads.

• The toad-rain stops at 1:30a.

• After the storm, the toads bubble and melt into a substance similar to human semen.

• Laura Stanton drives a Volvo.

• Laura drinks Dawson’s Ale.

• Liz inherited her family’s home.

• Her mom was very sick when she was 12.

• Her father molested her.

• Liz has some sort of trauma to Mr. Quigley.

• Main character likes beer, sports, and chicks.

• Page 85 predicts COVID.

• Lt. Rhino loves his F-18.

• SAC is Strategic Air Command.

• ETA is Estimated Time of Arrival.

• Only 15,000 people survive the nuclear blast of Oz.

• Very short story.

• Schow coined the term “Splatterpunk” to define his genre style of horror.

• Dicky carries an S&M L-frame Combat Magnum.

• “I can wait all day.  I’ve got gum.”

• Conor is forced to engage in sexual intercourse while undergoing hydrostatic pressure.

• Dicky lasts 9 rounds.

• Ross Taraval is the world’s smallest man.

• Arnold Schwarzenegger is Russ’s biggest hero.

• Ross has asthma.

• Fred’s wife Karen has given him an inflatable T-Rex for his birthday.

• “Bob” should be “Fred” on line 23 of page 190.

• Disneyland turns Bob into a Heavy Metal Stoner.

• The Roman soldier prays for truth to Luke 23:34.

• “Jesus” plots to kill his father, God.

• He wants to turn a McDonalds strawberry shake into wine.

• Men In Black are the Conspiracy’s elite secret police.

• The Narrator has an STD.

• The Domino Man is a lover of women.

• “The sleep of reason produces monsters.”

• Mr. Vortex gets disability checks for $234,567.89.

• Neil Gaiman created DC’s Sandman.

• Every 7 years, each cell in your body dies and is replaced.

• “No one’s ever originally from L.A.”

• Gloria is working out for the New York City Marathon.

• Throbbing Gristle is Gloria’s all-time favorite Post Industrial band after Talking Heads, and Wire.

• Gloria hasn’t had her period for over a year.

• Gloria has a silver Mohawk.

• In this story, there exists Friday the 13th Part 13, and Beverly Hills Cop Part 5.

• Never order hamburger at the Long Pig Bar & Grille.

• Halley’s Comet appeared April 28th, 1910.

• “Let any three people hose me down, and I’ll wind up making friends of two of them.”

• “Beauty can neither be created nor destroyed, it can only be converted.”

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Overall, if you're a diehard Stephen King fan, get it for his story.  Maybe if you like weird and obscure horror stories.  Skip it.

Not Recommended.

On to Book #155: Adventures in Babysitting by Elizabeth Faucher.

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Need to catch up?  See previous blog post: The Life Impossible.