Book #129: Ace Ventura: Pet Detective by Marc Cerasini

 

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

Marc Cerasini

 Released: October 17th, 1995

My 59th book for 2025 was Marc Cerasini’s Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.  

As a child, my parents would occasionally purchase new movies on VHS.  They had the 2nd Ace Ventura movie.  Years later, I got the first one on DVD.

Ace Ventura is a Pet Detective in Miami, FL.  He is assigned to find a missing Miami Dolphins mascot, Snowflake before the Super Bowl.

There are a lot of differences in the novel compared to the film.  I believe this is because it was geared more toward children and young teens than adults.  Still, the book is humorous, and has some classic one-liners.

There appears to be some copyright issues.  Dan Marino is known as “Big Dan” throughout the book.  Also, some references are made more kid-appropriate.  There is no swearing in the novelization.

Here is what I learned:

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• Ace Ventura is a Pet Detective who lives in Miami, Florida.

• Ace’s uniform spoofs UPS with HDS.

• HDS stands for Handy Delivery Service.

• Ace is investigating room 311.

• “We’re going downtown.”

• [Aftwr delivering package] “It sounds broke.”  “Most likely sir.  But I’ll bet it was something nice though.”

• Ace’s card reads: “You’ve been had by ACE VENTURA — PET DETECTIVE.”

• Ace drives an old Chevy Bel Air.

• His car used to be blue.

• Ace keeps puppy food in his ashtray.

• The car’s engine gets flooded from time to time.

• Due to being a children’s book, the pup’s owner rewards Ace with a kiss instead of fellatio like in the movie.

• The Miami Dolphins are in the Super Bowl.

• Their mascot is a bootlegged dolphin named “Snowflake”.

• Snowflake wears number 4.

• There kidnappers drug Snowflake.

• Ace lives at Surfside Apartments.

• Mr. Shickadance is his landlord.

• Ace is behind on rent.

• Animals are not allowed in the apartments.

• Don Riddle is the owner of the Miami Dolphins.

• “How do you lose a 500-lb fish?”

• Dolphins aren’t fish, they’re mammals.

• “Thank you very much, Ms. Jacque Cousteau.”

• Melissa Robinson is Mr. Riddle’s younger assistant.

• Roger Podacter is the assistant coach.

• Martha the secretary has a dog named Cuddles.

• Melissa has a VCR in her office.

• Ace doesn’t smoke, finding the habit disgusting.

• Melissa has a schnauzer.

• Ace is offered $5,000 to find Snowflake before the Super Bowl.

• A Mickey Finn is a drugged food or drink.

• “If I’m not back in five minutes…wait longer.”

• Ace pretended to be Heinz Kissvelvet, a trainer of dolphins.

• Emilio is a policeman at Metro Police Headquarters.

• Sergeant Aguado is a fat policeman who doesn’t like detectives.

• Lieutenant Lois Einhorn is the chief of police.

• Ace explains that he “helped the Grinch steal Christmas”, which is ironic because 6 years later, Jim Carrey (Ace Ventura actor) portrayed the Grinch in the live-action movie.”

• This replaces the more adult referential line in the film about Ace being “The second gunman on the grassy knoll.”

• The Tea Room is the wildest nightclub in Miami.

• The password to Woodstock’s headquarters is “White New England Clam Chowder.”

• Ace’s friend Woodstock is a relic of the late 1960’s counterculture.

• Woodstock tracks the Norwegian whaling fleet, and feeds them false dates to throw them off course.

• Woodstock can access all aquatic supply stores in the city with his computer.

• Ronald Camp is a billionaire and rare fish collector.

• Camp donated the land that the Dolphins Stadium is built on.

• Camp has a huge mansion in Miami.

• Unlike the movie, the novel Camp has a limo and walks with a cane.

• Ace attends the Super Bowl party under the name “Tom Ace”.

• “All rightee then.”

• Camp keeps a great white shark in his private aquarium.

• It is against the law to keep a great white shark as a pet.

• Ace finds a triangular-cut orange amber in Snowflake’s tank.

• The stone is from a 1984 Dolphins AFC Championship ring.

• Big Dan is the quarterback of the Miami Dolphins.

• Big Dan is a spin on legendary Dolphin’s quarterback, Dan Marino.

• Ace has never failed on a case before.

• FAN stands for Free Animals Now.  It was started in 1982 by Chelsea Gamble, the daughter of famous millionaire Fisher Gamble.  They have over half a million members from Florida to Finland.

• Roger lived on the 20th floor of a posh high-rise in downtown Miami.

• He was thrown from the balcony.

• His sliding glass door is soundproof.

• Ray Finkle missed the winning kick in the Super Bowl for the 1984 Dolphins team.

• Finkle is spoof of Buffalo Bill’s kicker Scott Norwood who missed the game winning field goal in 1991’s Super Bowl XXV against the New York Giants.

• Ray Finkle wore number 4 before Snowflake.

• Finkle grew up in Collier County, FL.  A small rural town in the Everglades.

• “Finkle is a south-paw soccer-style kickers. He holds two NCAA Division I records — one for most points per season, one for distance.  The first and only pro athlete to ever come out of Collier County.  And one heck of a model American.”

• Eight years ago, Ray escaped from the Shady Acres Mental Hospital in Tampa, FL.

• Big Dan is kidnapped before the Super Bowl.

• Dr. Handly is Ace’s doctor when Melissa commits him to the hospital.

• Ace pretends to be Melissa’s brother Eugene, who has an unhealthy obsession with football.

• Finkle was a painter.

• “Die Dan, Die.”

• Finkle had an article about a woman named Lois Einhorn who was a hiker that went missing.

• Ace has a pet raccoon named Snuggles.

• Bingo is Ace’s calico cat.

• Spike is the name of his pet monkey.

• Pepper is Ace’s basset hound.

• Rondo and Boris are Ace’s pet squirrels.

• Ace took Roger Podacter’s dog after he died.

• The henchmen are given orders to kill both Snowflake and Big Dan.

• Big Dan suffers memory loss because he gets hit in the head a lot.

• Einhorn has a cell phone. (In 1994, this was rather uncommon).

• Einhorn’s hideout is the old ironworks docks at 143 Victorville Road.

• Snowflake saves Ace’s life.

• I like the movie, Finkle wears a wig to portray Einhorn.

• Finkle has a buzz cut.

• The Dolphins are playing the Philadelphia Eagles in the Super Bowl.

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Overall, the book is funny, but as it’s geared towards kids, some of the better jokes are lost.  I’ll only recommend it to fans.

Recommended for Ace Ventura fans.

On to Book #130: Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls by Narc Cerasini.

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Need to catch up?  See previous blog post: Cybershock.